Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

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(Source: beautilation)

SO THERE’S THIS SHOW ON TLC CALLED “BUYING NAKED”

getbird:

IT’S ABOUT BUYING HOMES IN NUDIST COLONIES AND IT IS WORTH WATCHING JUST FOR THE CAMERA ANGLES

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LIKE REALLY??

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REALLY

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how long did it take you to line that shot up

ANYWAYS IT’S A LAUGH AND A HALF 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND IF YOU ARE FEELING DOWN


(Source: fymodernfamily)

relahvant:

when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it

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